Monday, October 15, 2007

The last word on Coulter

The blog-reactions to Anne Coulter's remarks about "perfected Jews" continue to accumulate. I am struck by the limited a sense of possibilities involved in framing the issue as a question of whether or not to be offended. Offense says, "Oh Anne, how could you? How could you betray the grand inclusive multicultural future we all yearn for?"

Are we all really that wimpy? I mean, what she said does not distinguish her from thousands, if not millions of Xians. Do a Google search for "completed Jew" and you will get a blizzard of links to the various faux-Jewish front-groups for the Southern Baptist Convention and the First United Pentecostal Church: J's for J and such. Moreover, the interviewer seemed to steer the discussion in that direction.

Nevertheless, we're true-blooded Jews and the gauntlet has been thrown down. Her remark does indeed call for some sort of negative response, albeit one that demonstrates a sense of the many available shades on the pallet of scorn, derision, and defiance.

Our response should not be offense exactly, but something more defiant, something like the following:

"We'll show you what people will believe in the perfected world, you anorexic tart!"

Or perhaps something more lofty and derisive:

"Get your vile getchke out of our heilige punim, you skeletal twit!"

Or perhaps something more smugly dismissive:

"Run along now--don't you have some pieces of wood and stone to bow down to?"

Perhaps the best response of all would be to sing a few verses of the following official anthem of replacement-theology-rejection:

Supercession-ism, Jewboys got it wrong
You all lived in error, til we came along
Brand new dispensation, abrogatin' laws
Hangin' out in Salt Lake, havin' lots of squaws
When you think that one Testament isn't enough
And you're goofy
Supercession ain't the way

Supercession-ism, the "True Israel"
Supercession-ism, Akeidas Yishamel
Standin' in a bow-tie, read the Final Call
Transubstantiation, the Al-Buraq Wall
When you think that your book is more new and improved
Than the Torah
Supercession ain't the way, yeh, yeh

Supercession-ism, cartoons in the Post,
Supercession-ism, embassies are toast
Female circumcision, goin' on the Hajj
Runnin' from the stampede, tryin' hard to dodge
When you think that those Jewboys have got it all wrong
And you riot,
Supercession ain't the way, no, no, no

Crossposted on Soccer Dad

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